I was born in Miami, Florida to Cuban/American parents in the great year of 1981. I am the “middle child”. I grew up (from the time I can remember) a very “comfortable” life surrounded by family. Enriched everyday by my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and so many more! Today, I thought it would be good to talk more about my mom. (Since I mention so her often…)
My mother… What can I say? My goodness! What a woman! The lady truly deserves a gold medal and a permanent pedestal. She (while my dad worked like an iPhone charger at an airport with canceled flights in the middle of a blizzard) raised 3 kids who (if I say so myself) are model citizens! (I said model citizens, not perfect! ?) My mom is the voice of reason. The soft place to lay your head when you’re sick, scared, worried, or feeling helpless. (Don’t get me wrong, the woman didn’t take S#%& from any of us! But would pounce like a cheetah if anyone messed with any of her babies! Not like in the “my kid is perfect” way either… (She knew our flaws!)
**Quick Story OR Long** But it’s relevant to understanding her…
We used to spend every Summer at the beach when we were little and I remember my mom telling me I wasn’t allowed to “hang out” with a particular group of girls… (Ugh! I envied them! Skinny pretty girls from “New Jersey” (insert sarcastic whiney Voice ? whose moms would let them wear teeny tiny string bikinis and makeup! They were liked… no LOVED by everyone! (Well, except my mom…) Anyway, I was sitting on the hot sand right in front of the ocean, facing her, likely thinking how I’d love for her to just LET ME LIVE MY LIFE instead of RUINING IT!”
(I was a tween! ? OH! Hell… KARMA DOES EXIST!) (? I see it now! Ugh!) Allow me a second to ask for forgiveness… ??
Where was I? OH yes… Sitting on the sand thinking what an AWWSOME mom I have!? (Is it too late…) Anyway, as the “cool” TWEENS walked across the beach with their “cool” Walkmans and teeny tiny bikinis… I, in my one-piece tweety bird bathing suit began to throw rocks into the ocean. My mom (with a sarcastic giggle) said “if you throw another rock you’re gonna hit someone and I will punish you…” (She rarely stated something that didn’t in turn happen 3 seconds later!)
So, 3 seconds later… I accidentally in my sobbing bitter TWEEN tantrum hit a lady (overly dramatic I might add) in the head! Before my mom could lose her S#%? on me the lady’s husband started to yell at me and I of course (scared to death!) hid behind my mom. She politely told the man that she apologized and to tell his wife to “stop the drama” because it was a pebble the size of a jelly bean! (Before I could smirk, she turned around and well… Let’s just say I spent the rest of that Summer sitting under the umbrella in my one-piece tweety bird bathing suit!)
**End: Short or Long Story**
Anyway, so back to my mom’s ways and why she is incredible! I tell you about her because she has always supported me and taught me to be proud of who I am and to be proud of where I came from. Even though we were “financially comfortable” she made sure as well as my dad (<—great post on my dad and the time he offered me $100 per pound I lost and a new wardrobe when I hit my goal coming soon! Clearly I screwed up! Oh those were the days!! Hmm? I wonder if I could still collect on this offer? ????) that I (we) worked hard for whatever I (we) wanted. Nothing was impossible! No goal was too far fetched.
Let’s fast forward to 2016. As I mentioned in my previous post “Intervention” (it’s really good if I may say so myself!! Read it!!) my mom is one of those people who honestly wants to “fix” anything that’s “broken”. My mom has made every effort to “help me” be healthier! She’s an exquisite example of patience, love, & focus as well as “hunny! You need to do something about this!”.
Let’s move on now to today. When I started this weight loss journey (or catastrophic downward spiral ???♀️) I was somewhere in the 240’s weight range… since then, I’ve reached my highest weight EVER! On 9/4/2017 I weighed in at 268.8lbs. (Two hundred and sixty eight point eight pounds!!!!!!!) ????♀️ Just stop and think about that for a second.
How embarrassing! How gut wrenchingly (it’s my word!) devastating is that?!?! I mean… what in the bloody hell (in my best Simon Cowell accent!) is happening here! Who is driving this BUS?!?! I’m my own worse enemy! I should be arrested for food abuse! (Never mind!!! Horizontal stripes would only make the situation worse!)
Anyway, because I’m not a quitter (um? Excuse me, I believe one of the voices in my head just chuckled… very loudly! #skinnyclaudia) I’ve decided to give WEIGHT WATCHERS another go around!! Yes! I even created a BRAND NEW PROFILE!!! I’m starting fresh! (Or basically hiding my identity. ?) I’m excited! I’m happy.
I must confess, I have considered bariatric surgery. I mean like I filled out the paper work (all 16 pages!!!! – FYI MY CARPAL TUNNEL IS KILLING ME!) But… I don’t think I’m ready to make that step. I feel like I need one more attempt at my very personal choice to do this without surgery. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m too afraid that my mind won’t change as my body does or if it’s because I fear the potential complications? Either way… it’s not off the table… simply moved to the left for now. I want to see what I’m capable of.
I started this post about my past and my mom… so, let me get to the point… (you all know I make a short story long & a long story even longer! ???????)
My mom is what drives me. See, as a kid she always made it a point to be at every softball game, every ballet class & recital, every piano lesson, every parent teacher conference, & every doctors appointment. My mom never stopped! She was our taxi, our chef, our maid, our nurse, our coach, our counselor, our friend, our disciplinary, & our boss… but she was also our unconditional supporter. She was NEVER too tired or too stressed. She was NEVER too overwhelmed or too busy. My mom was always ready to step up to the plate! Ready to Play! Ready to CHEER US ON!
My mom, has seen me struggle with this weight for so long that I feel like I owe her the same commitment. I owe my children the same commitment my mother even today continues to give me. So for her, I will!
Until next time,